Johnny's Mum took drugs and alcohol;
Johnny's mates knew she was a mole;
She told Johnny to be a rock and roll star -
He said, "No way, I'm staying right where I are."

Chorus:
Stay home Johnny, stay home...(etc.)

Johnny got home, he went to bed;
Johnny went on to do Melbourne Med.;
Johnny got rich being a doctor,
And then he died after a happy but boring existence.

No one knew Johnny, and he didn't care;
When on the bottom storey, he climbed the stair;
Johnny didn't get very far:
Most of all, he hated guitar.